The Simple Ethics of Receiving Unsolicited Advice

Yes, sometimes I am forceful with my opinions.  But that�s only because I�m passionate.  And right.  And passionate about being right!  - Frasier Crane.  

As dog owners, and especially owners of dogs with behavioral problems, we often find ourselves on the receiving end of advice.  Sometimes well-intentioned, sometimes less so, but almost always bullshit.  

I�ve lost count of the number of times I�ve been approached by someone I have never met, who has proceeded to tell me everything I�m doing wrong with my dog after having observed the situation for all of ten seconds.  And, invariably, the phrases �pack leader�, �show him who�s boss� and �coddling him� spring up within the first ten words. 

I�m sure a lot of you have experienced the same thing, and I know how upsetting it can be.  But, there�s good news!  I have discovered a simple way to rid yourself and your dog of these irritating know-it-alls.  Better yet, it can be distilled into one simple phrase: �shut up�. 

Yes, I know, that does sound rather harsh.  But really, when you get down to brass tacks, you have no obligation to pretend to a stranger that you have anything other than disdain for the unsolicited, usually-bullshit advice he�s accosted you with out of nowhere.  Why waste your time - more importantly, why risk your dog reacting?  

For those of you who are trainers, perhaps you feel like you ought to be nicer.  Perhaps, you think, these people are presenting you with a �teachable moment�, a chance to engage with someone, save them from the clutches of Cesar Millan and maybe convert them to the Gospel of Positive Training?  

Here�s the thing: most of the time, it isn�t.  Chances are, if someone is so sure of themselves that they�ll approach a stranger to offer them advice, you�ve got about as much chance of having a reasonable discussion with them as you have turning a street preacher into an atheist.  People don�t offer advice in these kinds of situations because they�re looking for personal growth through generous critique, they offer it to feel good about themselves.  To show off.  I�m not going to feed into their ego trip by being anything less than honest about how useful I feel them to be.  

Probably, that makes me a bad person.  Almost certainly, those strangers who freak my dog out and spout crapola think I�m pig-headed as well as a bad trainer.  Whatever.  My first, indeed my only, duty, is to do the best I can for my dog. If that means people don�t like me, it�s a consequence I�ll have to live with.